Welcome back to Thank God It’s Monday!
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​tl;dr Everything we do in life comes back to our power to persuade: getting ourselves to do what we say we’re going to do, encouraging a client for better results, convincing a partner that we’re right, making a sale, asking our bosses for a raise. Persuasion, persuasion, persuasion. So why are we more effective in some areas of persuasion than others? And how can we use the areas we are already getting results in to get better results in the areas we struggle?
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First, consider where you find yourself very effective in persuading. Signs that it’s one of your strong suits are feeling confident, compelling, and fulfilled.
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If you describe yourself as disciplined, you’re probably very good at persuading yourself to do hard things. You remove distractions from your environment, you make things happen where others make excuses, and you put yourself through uncomfortable situations because you know the tradeoff is worth it. You’ve kept a subconscious list of all the times when you were happy you did the thing you didn’t want to do, and that, in turn, becomes a powerful driver of persuasion.
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Or maybe you’re a parent, and you’ve gotten your kids to do one or two things they didn’t want to do (kidding, I’m sure it’s 1000x more than that). You have used various techniques, probably some combination of reasoning, bribery, and bartering, to get them to do things that are in their best interest. And, I imagine, you’re extremely proud of who they are becoming, largely as a result of the values you have taught them. I won’t tell your kids, but you are a powerful persuader in their lives.
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The power of persuasion may also show up in your career, and not just in lawyers and salesmen. My mom was one of the few female chiefs in Sanitation, my brother has led many men and women in the army, my business coach generates donations for a large hospital system, and my boyfriend bought his business at 28 years old. All of them have gotten to where they are because of their ability to persuade others; intentional or not, they convey confidence, camaraderie, and spirit that others want to be a part of.
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Once you have identified the area of your life where you feel most persuasive, examine what about the situation makes you feel confident. You may have a sense of authority due to time spent in the field or how good you are in the role. Perhaps you feel strongly about the outcome, so it’s easier to persuade others when you know the result is valuable. Or when you’re debating with your partner that your account of the situation was the objective truth, your confidence stems from a place of single-mindedness. All of these are effective techniques that get you the results you want.
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So how can we use these same techniques to translate to the areas we don’t feel as resolute?
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Say you want to go into your boss’ office to ask for a raise, and you want to harness that sense of power you feel when you recommend your favorite restaurant to a friend. You recommend the restaurant because you love their food, you think it’s great quality, and you trust your friend would have a similar experience. Similarly, consider why your boss would agree to give you a raise: the work you produce is high quality, you’re trusted in your role, and your clients or work team enjoy working with you. Using the same reasons a restaurant is good enough to recommend, you can use the same rationale to justify a raise.
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Then there’s the age-old problem of getting ourselves to do the things we know we should do but don’t want to do. To do so, we can pretend that we are bargaining with a child (because really we’re just trying to convince our most base, emotional selves, ie our inner child). We know we should exercise, but we really don’t want to exercise. To get a child to do something they don’t want to do, we might try positive reinforcement (after your vaccines, you can get a cookie), negative reinforcement (if you don’t do your homework, there’ll be no video games tonight), or internal motivation (remember how much fun you had the last time you tried it?). In an ideal world, we should be able to persuade ourselves with pure reason (it’s good for us), but in the real world, sometimes we have to leverage these other techniques.

Wherever you struggle with persuasion, consider what strengths you embody that you can use in a new situation. It can feel disempowering when you’re uncomfortable in a new situation or trying to stretch your limits, but remember you have gotten to where you are because of your ability to persuade yourself and others.
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If you found some value in this, please share it with a friend you think would enjoy it! And let me know if you’d like to be added to get TGIM.
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This week, my podcast recommendation is from Dan Harris’ 10% Happier, “A Stoic Mantra for Your Shittiest Moments (and Other Ancient Wisdom That Holds Up) with Jonathan Haidt.
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With that, it is 74 days until the New Year. I am doing a 75 Simple challenge, which you are invited to join, to compound three easy habits through the holidays instead of feeling like the holidays are leaving you bloated and exhausted. If you want to join, check out the page here https://walshwellness.kit.com/fc2a07432a.
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Until next time,
Shannon
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P.S. Only when I went to name the newsletter did I realize I wrote a TGIM: The Power of Persuasion four years ago, and it’s a totally different take on how we can use experience to change. Check it out here: https://walshwellness.weebly.com/tgim/the-power-of-persuasion​